A Lesson in Posing, Religious Observance Begs Sabbatical

April 18, 2011

Repellows, it pains me to announce a week long sabbatical starting right here and now in favor of substituting bread with cardboard squares more traditionally called “matzah.” Unfortunately though, there is no other way: I am very, very, busy reciting the story of Exodus with my extended family in the Sunshine State while simultaneously radiating my skin. I’m so white, I’m green will no longer be my mantra come the next time you see me. Actually, it might.

I promise to post photos of my diapers cool bathing suits and neat floppy hats upon return but until then, here are a few poses you should acquaint yourself with so that when I’m back, our bond will feel even closer.

The Quintessential Blogger Pose. Swinging bucket bag, hidden face by hair, flinging arms et al.
The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose. But it doesn’t include actual suicide so don’t get any crazy ideas again about me and psychiatrist “just chatting to chat,” mom.
 The Yoga Pose. And you know this doesn’t work unless you’re wearing flare leg jeans and wedges. Serious bonus points for closed eyeballs.
The Man Repeller Pose. I see London, I see France, I see…yo’ass, girlfriend! And even so…not even a small part of me wants to sleep with you.
The other Man Repeller Pose. Because if you’re not going to give me bunny ears, someone else should. And I nominate myself.
And finally, The Pose that tricks you into thinking I’m human, not dancer. 
shirt: Acne, flare jeans: Textile Elizabeth + James, necklace: Jimmy Choo x H&M;, leopard print belt: J Crew, rings: Kimberly Baker and DANNIJO, shoes: Christian Louboutin, bucket bag: Hobo International. 

I miss you already. My tear drops turn to cries and those cries turn to wails and the wails turn to…a reason to don harem pants! It’s a quick fix. Now, Happy Easter and Passover. Please wear neons, pastels, lots of organza and flatforms to keep the flame of my soul ignited this week.
Sincerely,
               Your Resident Drop Crotch
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14870866601660892910 jhuynh

    hahahhaha this post made me lolocaust

    indiaandfen.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05882333911932324281 blue roses

    i frequently opt for pose number one, feigning being coy! love the bunny ears, perchance i shall adopt that one in the near future…. easter?

    enjoy california, but please avoid melanoma.

    http://dallianceswithsuitsandskirts.blogspot.com/

  • http://magmoiselle.fr salome

    So fresh these pics… Loooooove

    Street Style GIOVANNA BATTAGLIA: http://magmoiselle.fr

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09739251167444138491 Fashion Agony

    Can't wait to see your swimsuit pics and beach poses, haha :D
    That Jimmy Choo necklace is absolutely adorable!

    xoxo
    http://fashionagony.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13678937953382560659 J’Anns Boutique

    LOL your posts always make me laugh.

    A Girl's Next Best Friend

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10833055715889024895 MARI

    haha, happy easter.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03992393863546600541 arom

    that necklace is bad asssssssssssssss.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18359692445710227141 Collections

    Have a Happy Passover! I think I'm legit the only person in the world who enjoys matzo oh well. lol, I'll eat it all. Love love love this outfit. Definitely one of my favorites those jeans are INCREDIBLE and love the striped top and that necklace killer look.

    Collections & Shopbop GIVEAWAY

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18029219123312766790 jenn of boy howdy daily

    those jeans are rad. i remember we used to do that to our jeans when i was in high school..maybe i should start again. have fun. cheers!

    http://boyhowdydaily.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15179195628761361945 Michelle May

    You are amazing.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06303665587576888183 Nomadic D.

    I love that you can't stop quoting that song, are we human or are we dancer. I remember when it first came out I made up this whole story in my head about how they were german and didn't actually speak english in order to justify those lyrics. Anyway, just glad to see someone else shares my love of the absolute nonsense that is that song.

    http://nomadic-d.blogspot.com/

  • http://fashionwashere.wordpress.com/ fashionwashere

    Cracking up off this post!! love ur humor! It made me laugh even harder because the "quintessential blogger pose" is in my latest outfit post and many others…hahahahaha

    http://fashionwashere.wordpress.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01514627554329642237 Vasilieva
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08107223367018940482 Gabrielle

    haha.. love the poses!! Cool outfit :)
    Safe travels..

  • http://www.daydreamincolor.com Connie

    You're so funny. Love the outfit too!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08154516717938750369 Lisa

    I don't know what I'm going to do without my daily dose of Repellent. I guess I must take to the streets in fully man repelling gear (I'll start with harem pants, obvs) to try and contain my emotional loss for the week.
    http://beautybybenz.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17307750287416918321 Closet Fashionista

    Love this!
    and have a good Passover and vacation! I will make sure to have a lovely Easter ;)
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com

  • http://belighter.wordpress.com/ BeLighter

    Girl, you're the best!!! You always make me laugh!!! And seriously I don't know how I'm gonna do without your always hilarious posts….

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13071272134057276425 Iris Tinunin

    i'm rolling on the floor laughigh: this post is so funny! you rock!

    Stylosophique

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17743412261082252157 Miranda

    Haha you never fail to entertain

    Miranda
    http://www.indcfashion.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08509000552394407731 Melissa

    HAHA You're too funny! Thank you ;) Have a great holiday.

    xxMelissa

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06841237588940938787 Lydia

    Bunny ears! I ordered a pair of fisherman harem pants from Taiwan about a fucking year ago (3 weeks…) and can't wait for them to arrive!! I'll think of you fondly when I wear them!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10140343993689497356 Priscilla Francine Makeup
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07904293199101553442 Jessie

    what a great pair of wide legs! i have been looking for a pair that isn't extremely dramatic, and this is the perfect one.
    xx, http://wordbyjessie.com

  • http://colectivofuturo.com harold f

    Easily made my morning

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18265420991342432233 Mrs. C

    I think Man Repeller Pose #1 is fantastic!! A true keeper! We will miss your posts and repelling advice but enjoy the matzoh!! And fab wide leg pants BTW!!

    http://www.mrscapretta.com
    Recipes, Fashion, Marriage

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17115423516641338460 The Foolish Aesthete

    Hilarious! And I'm glad you put out flared jeans. So refreshing to see in Blogland!

    http://thefoolishaesthete.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03921101323185206610 Adryana Jade

    This is a funny one! LOL! Xoxo, A.J.
    http://adryanajade.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12254024303256132696 CARRIE

    I think the Yoga pose should become a new industry standard… but that's just me.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03027493819601779349 thefashiondyad

    I am so glad I woke up and read this post. Just made my day! HAHA the "The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose" is hilarious and really is seen so often in blogs! Haven't done that yet but I'm thinking about using it soon. ;)

    XO thefashiondyad.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14276412600112906399 Iva

    such a long legs and lovely ass=D

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08464057827055099497 aNewFoundLove

    Love the poses! lol

    I love your jeans!

    Tiffanie

    http://www.anewfoundlove.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11457023998421785355 Rachella

    great bag and shoes !! x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16208102183812777303 Absolutely Mrs. K

    of course i love the Killers, fabulous song!! well yoga keeps your fashion mind fresh and quirky. love the casual outfit, the jeans rocks, very hard to find a perfect jeans like that. love the simple tee. perfect with the necklace, it turns up the volume. i am not a fan of summer wedges, but i love these ones because of the black, it makes it a lot more interesting.

  • http://fashionslap.blogspot.com kate

    This is one of the most wearable looks I've seen you don in a while….I like it too very cool casual.

  • Hetzi

    Wearing harem pants right now – check
    wore neon sports top earlier – check

    the rest to follow tomorrow!

    your blog is amazeballs, but you don't need me to tell you that…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16747921195231684047 Francesca

    those jeans are amazing!

    xoxo,
    F

    Le Kiss Kiss- Click Here!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08303339037161037296 victoria / cats dreaming in keylime

    whoa, i've got some practicing to do!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10326815567824706596 LoliTa

    you rock my socks with your sarcasm and funny/odd/out of context phrases. lots of time for you!

  • http://takingbacksingle.wordpress.com/ takingbacksingle

    Love the poses and the outfit.
    Also not looking forward to matzah…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01810675663756020977 Mel

    Frickin' hilarious!! hahaha

    I have trouble coming up with poses for pictures. This is really helpful! I will be giving "The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose" a try real soon! ;)

    Those jeans are amaze-balls by the way! You look great!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00215034039405310151 Mary Ko.

    since now I adore your blog, ehehe :)
    KEEP ROCKINGGGG
    :)

  • http://katriciab.com/skylark Katricia B

    Hahaha, I'll hold up bunny ears behind your head for you! :D

    Peace, Katricia.
    http://katriciab.com/skylark

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02692154365553881657 Kate

    Haha, love the post and the last comment made it!!

    http://www.sweet-louise.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12851255912197216409 lauraa

    Oh gosh I always laugh so much when I read your posts. And now a week without you! The agony
    xxx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12069426957408106950 Kimberly

    love it so hilarious, great photos really loving the hair and the outfit! will be waiting until the next post!

    giveaway on my blog!

    http://kc-citystyle.blogspot.com/2011/04/giveaway.html

  • http://www.redshoesnoknickers.com Red shoes No knickers

    Genius! My favourite is the yoga pose with the eyes shut. WOuld never have worked had your eyes been open.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11824440493038509210 Vfriedrich

    Those jeans are out of control. Love, love, and love. XO Valerie

    http://www.imstarvin.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08209410201811304112 Neiry

    Definitely will try your yoga pose on my next post lol

    http://a-little-awkward.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14227790770455857624 The Fancy Teacup

    Those jeans are fantastic on your figure. Love "The Killers" reference. Have a great Passover/Easter week/weekend!

    http://www.TheFancyTeacup.com
    much love.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03954291654070103611 Chelsea

    Chag Sameach!! I'm preparing my outfit for the seder as we speak (harem trousers and a floppy felt hat in burnt orange, obviously)!

    xo
    http://couturecultureblog.blogspot.com

  • http://www.docstarrchic.com doc starr

    i swear your blog is hilarious! i love the mix of fashion, humor, and your personality. its no wonder why your blog is so popular!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18200704591621471005 briannelee

    That necklace is amazing!!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17570422656943252958 neko

    Ya'll need to brush up on your Japanese, sis:

    for future use in your cheesy blogger poses, it's "SAYONARA" :D

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06817440115036704641 Brittany Matthews

    haha your funny! Love the yoga pose!

    follow me at:
    http://therealbisforbrittany.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00958740509048507614 monsefuentes

    Loving your blog!

    XX, Monse Fuentes.-
    http://elblogdemonsee.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14073793137784988332 Megan Hattie

    Your poses are the greatest. Love those jeans too! Raaaadical! We'll all miss you this week! xox

    –Megan//The Martian Tide

  • http://www.kylehepp.com Kyle

    I read fashion blogs but never post on them. Like, ever.

    But I had to.

    I love you.

    Oops, too much, too soon? You are hilarious. And I like your clothes. I'll stop now.

  • Amanda

    Dear Man Repeller,

    I've just stared reading your blog. It's quite addictive. I have the sudden urge to wear bowners and socks with sandals.

    Question for you, how can I be a man repeller in a country where RealFeel temperature is 41 deg. C (91 deg. F) and humid? Help. :(

    Amanda from the Philippines

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00959290204095275687 Diana

    your posts never cease to make me laugh one way or another~~~ you too hilarious gf! Love the posing 101. Yoga pose be my fave :DD Have a lovely Passover!!! xo Diana

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14286300420574824421 Andrea

    Nice outfit! love the top and the little bag.
    take care

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10126196150095830672 Sarah

    freakin' hilarious :-)! enjoy the hols xxx

  • http://www.homeownerinsurancequoter.com Homeowner Insurance

    Love your pics! You've got nice outfits!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15308862608320193108 Lola

    Boooo! But have fun and see you in a weeks time!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your jeans, I haven't donned up a pair of flairs in quite some time now, hmmmm TEMPTED!

  • Anonymous

    So amazing. I love ur style and sense of humor
    Will sooo miss you during your sabbatical
    Enjoy your holiday

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09481276190728631310 thepaperdoll

    It's true…. the look away pose is a must have on all fashion blogs… I do it because I'm too embarrassed to look at the camera… even though I don't seem to have any shame in anything else I do.. or wear.. or say. Whatever. It's my favorite.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16599904887688070005 Ms LadyCakes

    Rockin poses! Now if you could just show me how to rock poses while taking my own picture… ;)

    http://instylation.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14093085727622327321 Patricia Basseto

    i loved the funny poses lol and i wanna a jeans like this one!

    http://www.rockandglamour.blogspot.com

  • Hanne

    it's SO amusing to read, and look at your pictures. Amazing blog!

    regards from Norway :-)

  • Anonymous

    in man repeller pose 1 it looks like your giving birth to a giant troll

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07484862743368879674 Cristina Feather

    Is that blouse see-trough? You can't see it on camera, but I just think you can see though it… but do you feel ok knowing that at any breeze someone can know exactly what you feel? :)) I love transparency, I'm just a bit afraid of what it would really look like, I want to avoid as much as I can a trashy look.

    http://www.featherinashoe.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08987425534758163598 AJ TAYLOR

    i can't stop laughing. this is hilarious. good one girl.

  • http://caseyexpalinsitall.com Casey

    You have become my Fave. blogger!!!! Keep it up!!
    Pics are Hilarious!!!
    Who takes all your Pictures?

    Caseyexplainsitall.com

    twitter me @itstrudeau

  • Ajda

    you are so cute ! love ya!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06845692184766656564 The Girl Three Doors Down

    I forgot how funny your posts are – I must stop by more often.

    Being a part of the 'model life' in my recent past makes the mock-seriousness of these poses even more entertaining.

    Thanks for the chuckle. :)

    http://thegirlthreedoorsdown.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03050370184903343820 Soleil St. Fleur

    The first photo is FAB! xx <3Peace<3 from Soleil

    http://sharpthreads.blogspot.com/

  • Anonymous

    Love you!
    Take care!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03245585246728339165 Kelly Frances

    im into the necklace! you have quite the sense of humor. the first image is priceless

    check out my new post! i think youll like it
    http://heelsandinspiration.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04224394644899635691 Sam

    Particularly fond of your trademark pose!

    http://winkwinkknudgeknudge.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12347329353442093349 Michelle Lee
  • Luisa

    CHAG SAMEACH!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04671810438603347562 CoolGurlKrew

    you rule!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05345225002773583958 My Style Canvas

    Happy Passover, bubeleh. And your Man Repeller pose had me cracking me up.

  • Jessie

    on this highest of holy days, should we not take a moment to honor a trailblazing repellowneer no longer with us?

    http://r-o-n.tumblr.com/post/3870029346#axzz1KDFeEHNr

    CLICK ON IT, ITS NOT MY FASHION BLOG I DONT HAVE ONE

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14222629783598536990 Midge

    I love your outfit and I think that many guys would too… Another ensemble like this and you might have to change the name of your blog! ;)

    WastedWardrobe.net

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11849570885211882825 Lacy

    Happy Passover! Enjoy time with your family! You and your posts will be terribly missed.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15665249858890317095 The_Unemployed_Stylist

    These are perfect! haha love the yoga pose.

    http://www.theunemployedstylist.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04118277111343803905 The Fine Life

    It took me four hours to scroll to the bottom of this monster list of comments, in order to say one word: Mazel!

  • http://blog.bodywashsupplies.com/ Body Wash Supplies

    You are so funny. Love reading your posts.

    Love the The Quintessential Blogger Pose. Love the Man Repeller Pose too. Hope you have a great Easter.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14367965192895532398 Soleil

    I loved this post so much I had to blog and illustrate it! Love the humor- the Bestest! xx from Soleil

    http://sharpthreads.blogspot.com/2011/04/flare-leg-pantsbring-them-back.html

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09485347482314635296 Two Thimbles

    This is much much too good.

    thethimbleemporium.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06216956152861247290 Karenina

    Love this look on you. Not quite sure if you are repelling hard enough though!

  • http://www.beautifymylifeblog.com Jessica @ Beautify My Life

    If I was a man, I would totally be turned on by your ass in the air pose ;)

  • MGF

    i think you are the funniest blogger ever.
    Glad to meet you, and see you tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after after tomorrow… !

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