From Man Getter to Man Repeller, The Naked Dress
Remember Carrie Bradshaw’s naked dress? She wore it on her first date with Big and then proceeded to fornicate with him on her bedroom floor. Classy.
She blamed the nude dress for her act of promiscuity. I, on the other hand, blamed the effect of the bird she had been wearing in her hair just a few short frames earlier. She was likely due for a trip to pleasure town.
While re-watching the episode last weekend, I took note of the enormous fur coat she put over the dress before finally making an attempt to leave her apartment, lady flower deflowered. Just like that, she had turned the epic man getter into a man repeller. Here today, I’m going to do the same because that’s what man repellers do, they imitate Carrie Bradshaw. But only when she’s not sleeping with finance men. Just kidding, then too. Those are the men with killer bow ties and super slim fit suits, which translates to: good for our closets, bad for their weeners. You see, a win-win situation.
And back to the point, let’s turn the consummation catalyst into vagina dentata!
Behold: The Man Getter. Perhaps my interpretations of “the naked dress” have become skewed since dubbing myself the Man Repeller. Even so, paired with peep-toe pumps, I’d say this isn’t necessarily chasing an entire gender off. Agree? Keep reading to learn how this dress could become yours!
In light of this, I voted the sexy peep toe pumps off the island and started layering various pieces onto the dress…
First an Hermes collier de chien Belt…hey little toes! You’re so cute and free. I think I’ll put a bird on you.
Then a slashed All Saints sweater. Talk about feeling...caged in.
While bare feet are cool, socks and sandals are cooler. So the next step follows that school of thought.
See that smile?
Toes hidden, gingerbread men playing and leopard print running free. The combination has an everlastingly gleeful effect on the sole of my soul.
While I may have already mastered the art of
butchering fixing the dress, to make sure I was R2R (Ready-2-Repel) I did what anyone would do in the given situation and layered necklaces…
…And added birth control glasses onto the final outfit. The outcome was glorious.
The brand that gives back to those in need. Buy a pair of BCGs from Warby Parker and for every purchase you make, a pair of specs are donated to someone in need. Think of all the poverty stricken man repellers you could be helping. And at $95 a penis deboned for a pair of specs like mine, it’s really the least you can do for mankind.
AND NOW FOR THE GIVEAWAY: Because last weeks Rebecca Minkoff giveaway induced multi-layers of fun for my eyeballs, I’m hosting another giveaway!
Think you have what it takes to turn the naked dress into a more successful repeller? Tell me about it and you can win it, just:
1. ‘Like’ Kimberly Taylor on Facebook
2. Comment below with your name, e-mail address and a brief description illustrating how you will turn the man-catcher into a chaser. Then…Ba da bing, ba da boom. It’s yours.
Contest closes Wednesday at Noon. Ready, set, repel.