Three Indications that Suggest Proper Repelling
Holy moly me oh my, fashion week is but a mere 10 days away. While it is obviously impossible for every single fervent fashion flamingo worldwide to tangibly participate in the
Olympics of Man Repelling international fashion weeks, state o’mind is everything. Think of this as The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants but more like: The Bloggerhood of the Traveling Words.
Just because you won’t be at shows doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wear the furry wedge-booties, labial sweater and virtually anything Opening Ceremony that you’ve been coveting but seem to have nowhere to wear. To quote the ever eloquent and highly respected Hilary Duff, “Why not? Take a crazy chance. Why not? Do a crazy dance.”
…This way, when your man friend says “What the fuck,” you can refute: “It’s fashion week, jackass.”
In light of
my recent stroke of genius this, today seemed as good a time as any to talk Man Repeller rules of thumb. And when I say thumb I’m talking Megan fox. Not really, but do a civil service for yourself and search “Megan Fox thumbs.” Tell me how you react to what you see, send photos if necessary. And now with that digression behind us, this post is actually about addressing the three key styles that confirm you’re fulfilling your MR duties.
1. Are your wrists feeling heavy? Arms somewhat suffocated? Wearing too many watches set to incorrect time zones?
What about your health? Is the high concentration of different prints in one space getting you dizzy?
Good. You’re doing it right. The Man Repeller #1 rule of thumb is:
More is more.
2. Look in the mirror. What do you see?
If the answer falls anywhere between
crazy girl with eyeballs popping out of face, smile uncomfortably stretching from side one to side two of said face, “Big Bird from Sesame Street,” “my favorite animated Disney character,” “one of the original Loony Tunes,” or…
You are, once again, onto something. Our second rule of thumb follows the school of thought that if you’re channeling your favorite childhood figure, you’re probably a man repeller and thus, trendier than hashtags on twitter.
And finally, the third indication–which is subject to change depending on climate–goes like this:
3. If it walks like a yeti…
Talks like a yeti… (actually, it should most definitely talk like a human)
And looks like a yeti…
…Just kidding, it’s a girl on her way to Street Style stardom. And we commend her, nay, strive to be her for that.
Ultimately, it’s important for you to remember that even if you can’t make it to fashion week, that doesn’t mean it ain’t still going on. So in honor of the Olympic MR games, sock those sandals, tie that turban, top that knot, adjust that bow tie and let your freak flag fly high.