Short Hiatus, Right This Way

December 8, 2010
booties by Valentino, photo by Chuck Grant

Final school exams call for a break from repelling as usual to contemplate suicide, cue the jewelry that resembles violent weaponry, and the peuter booties that match them. (See above, duh.)

Remember boys and girls, if I fall behind in school, I fall behind in life. And if I fall behind in life, you fall behind in life.

In the mean time, amuse yourself by taking a trip down memory lane via virtual library of past posts. Or don’t. It’s your life. And on that note and the beaten up booties presented above, I deliver one small holiday gifting option that will indubitably impress anyone who wears heels. Whether (s)he be a man repeller or lame brain from outerspace, I give you the Heel Condom.

I’m not playing a trick on you, they are actually called heel condoms. As you can see, they act as a condom for your heel, protecting it from city street garb, chipped or dirty leather, and…procreation. This in turn makes for some meaty subtext. Here’s to taking the single shoe-silhouette a man appreciates (plain old stiletto pump, snooze) and turning it into the funkmaster flex of abstinence. (From left:) shoe 1 indicates a red and black ruffled pom pom growing out the side of your ankle. That is awkward. Shoe 2 recalls Things That Look Like Vaginas, I skip shoe three and move to shoe 4 which reminds the male specimen that he would have liked to give you pearls somewhere else, but won’t. And shoe 5 channels Burlesque in an utmost manner of feathered-absurdity.

Ultimately, they’re not too expensive and make for a sweet gift. My birthdays next week. Buy yours here.
Tootles!
  • http://fashionslap.net/ fashionslap.net

    LOL…I saw these posted on Cocoperez a few days ago and where as I thought it was a cute idea I was thinking "Shoe Condom…who would want a condom on their shoe" because when I think shoe condom I think used condom bleh I know gross, but my head just works that way. I blame it on all the beer and late night sex romps from college j/k I was rather boring in college perhaps thats why my head works that way I just never got out much. : / sad.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02351869206880031770 Yevgeniya Yelkina
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07891613318929178094 I Don’t Wear Jeans

    Good luck with your exams.

    http://idontwearjeans.blogspot.com/

  • HeteroLifeMate

    do you think the leopard condom will fit on the heels of our new shoes?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13250050636769136923 herwaisechoice

    Actually love the idea, but A) What the hell is up with the name and B) The quality looks kind of cheap.. anyone own a pair and can attest to the quality?

  • Anonymous

    How does can a fellow man repeller stay warm in the winter?

  • Anonymous

    uh. lots of fur. duh.

  • http://www.manrepeller.com MR

    @anonymous x2: layers, layers, layers! Winter is our wonderland!
    X MR

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01173745675255518425 nicolette

    i just spit tea up onto my keyboard. man reppeling behavior, meet man repelling heel condom.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18431557789245271401 ray

    Hey-o that picture is beautymous!!

    I'm wearing sequin harems / python pumps and a dare sweatshirt.

    let the repelling downtown commence!!

    xx

  • Anonymous

    how am I supposed to put off studying for my exams if you're going to go away?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02604842279080707645 August Casati

    I seriously LOVE this site! I have some cute finds up for grabs on ebay — take a peek..

    Chloe by Affinitas Intimates Bustier & Thong Set
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    JEREMY SCOTT ZIP AND LACE-UP SHEATH DRESS
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    STELLA McCARTNEY SATIN & DIAMANTE EVENING SHOE
    http://bit.ly/SMcCGP

    STELLA McCARTNEY HAUTE LACE UP ANKLE BOOTS *EXCLUSIVE*
    http://bit.ly/SMcCAB

    Stella McCartney Vintage Boots
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    Love a #StellaMcCartney #Ebay #Sale? So Do We! http://tiny.cc/pboqxhttp://bit.ly/SMcCABhttp://bit.ly/SMcCGP

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    Love a #Sexy Sale? So Do We! http://bit.ly/leloinsghttp://bit.ly/drbcal2http://bit.ly/bulpri2http://bit.ly/PPPCShttp://bit.ly/StimCLhttp://bit.ly/FunFTV

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  • Anonymous

    Jeez, I loved your blog! Greetings from Brazil and keep the good stuff coming! Cheers

  • Anonymous

    I love the blog, but it would be so much more enjoyable if you didn't have so many grammatical errors. Perhaps a proofreader should go through it before you post. For instance, meantime is one word, not two. Or maybe you meant it literally: mean time (grrrrr…)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17807287408947951518 thebirthdaygirl

    Argh, don't you hate it when life gets in the way of blogging!!
    Good luck with your exams.
    #stayinschoolaslongaspossibleitsnoteasieroutthere

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08170076240621772052 VerdeMenta

    I just discovered your blog and I'm totally in love with it!! Hope you don't mind if I wrote a brief review about you and your blog-idea on my blog :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13192018030790056205 Lucia Del Pasqua

    you're a jenius!

  • http://istarblog.com istarblog

    wow thats a great shoes..like it

  • http://finkalixius.info finkalixius

    i think i need to have one of this kind..LOL too envy now

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00193247883695939740 Larissa

    this is so amazing! love the idea!

    x
    thatgirlfromhk.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12981228048468437957 Beautifully Invisible

    What is the % failure rate on these? Birth Control for your stilettos… I never thought I'd see the day. Wow.