Getting Street Styled Part II: A Lesson in Layering
I imagine that after taking a cue or two from my first installment of Getting Street Styled, your efforts at standing against brick walls waiting for wo/men with enormous cameras around their necks have become far better received. And in the event they haven’t, that’s weird, you may want to reconsider your lip color.
In any case, because you crazy kids seemed to lurve the first photo tutorial, I thought it smart to
ride my own wave of success and exhaust use of the same concept enlighten you again with another round of Getting Street Styled. This time, taking a particularly close look at one of the more important elements involved in perfecting the art of man repelling: layering. Because jeans and t-shirt just won’t cut it if you want to continue on in the race to learn whose lady bits can stay unkept longest. After all, man repelling means a break from bikini waxing so bring on the fur head piece. (Please do note the crass pun hidden in the subtext here.) And despite the irony presented in the mere fact that I am about to summon three men...Scott Schuman, Phil Oh, Mr. Newton, if you’re reading this…snappy, snappy. Clicky, clicky. I’m waiting for you on Mott Street!
Step 1: Let the layering begin. I suggest you use a crop top so to have your first two layers at different lengths. Extra Repeller points if its sheer, this reminds the mangoes that our desexifying capabilities are uncanny…tragic, if you will.
Step 2: Add a plaid flannel, flash your bright whites. Kurt Kobain inspired lumbersluts, unite.
Step 3: Take apart your grandmother’s curtains, sew them into one cohesive blazer. Place over your flannel. Fold flannel sleeves over floral sleeves. Pat yourself on the back, in just three steps you’ve already ventured into the territory of incoherency. Look down at your feet, vow to veto the black flats.
Step 4: Add birth control glasses. Douche bag points for non-prescriptive lenses. Now you’re channeling Kurt Kobain, your grandmother’s curtains and the human contents of the Brooklyn-bound L-Train.
Step 5: Trade the fancy flats for a pair of bomb-ass wedges. Bonus points for ankle straps that may or may not create the illusion that even your skinniest jeans can obtain harem tendencies.
Step 6: Add several violent weapons, have them double as jewels. If you are prone to poke your own eyes out, breathe a sigh of relief. Your BCGs will protect you.