‘Tis the Season to Be Man Repelling, or Is It?

Fellow Repellows, below you will find a post that I wrote for the Harper’s Bazaar blog.
To read the article I wrote for their December issue, click here
…I wonder if Katy Perry and Russell Brand are reading it as we speak. 
To disregard the above plugs, you can just stay here and read on.
Getting in the holiday spirit should be no difficult feat what with the enormous turkey dinner awaiting us later this week, an influx of bright holiday lights adorning city streets, and the prospect of fun holiday parties to come. For man repellers though, getting in the holiday spirit means something else, something a little more stylish: a trip to Valentino for elegant bows and ruffles to emulate Christmas gifts, bright green and red accents (Chanel nail art, anyone?) to get the colors right, and excessive sequins—head to toe, if you will—so to be the shiniest star on New Years Eve.
That said though, the holiday season also often calls for many a man repeller to lose her marbles. All of a sudden, her harem pants are looking less sophisticated. Her shoulder pads are feeling a bit wide, and her wedges are too chunky. Yes, it’s time for the holidays and even the proudest man repeller may find herself singing along as Mariah Carey preaches “all I want for Christmas is you.” I for one, will certainly be singing along but to a pair of Proenza Schouler wedges. Who will you sing to? If you’re still unsure about how you intend to get in the spirit, fear not because below you’ll find renditions to get in to each character.
First things first, whether you want to man-get or man-repel, Christmas is always a great excuse to dress the part.
Top: Vanitas, Skirt: Kimberly Taylor, Belt: Chanel, Shoes: Marni
And you thought dressing up as a Christmas tree was out of question. You see how many birds I’m hitting with this stone? There’s even a hint of Peter Pan in the ensemble. Here’s to that.
In the event you find yourself trying to look a little less contraceptive-chic, try something that bares a bit more skin and shows off the sexy curves you’ve nearly forgotten you have.
image via Chuck Grant
Bustier: Topshop, Skirt: Max Azria, Shoes: Marni
While this outfit may be too sultry, (I’ll blame the velvet couch and my positioning on said couch,) combining even just one element of the overall look will work in your favor. A tight short skirt will add sex appeal to even your thickest shoulder pads and  the cropped bustier will diverge attention from your usual outrageously high waisted trousers. Try it for yourself. Who knows, you may end up with a date this New Years Eve.

If however, even the holidays won’t stop you from engaging in your usual man-repelling behavior. I’m right there with you.
Sweater: Dolce & Gabbana, Skirt: M Missoni, Shoes: Marni
Who needs a date when you can just meet me under the mistletoe? We’ll talk Lanvin and make a toast to turbans
 Look for the well-dressed ostrich; I’ll be waiting for you.

(…but not in a Lesbianish way, I’m straight. Call me!)

Can You Be in Fashion and Still Get a Man? via Harper’s Bazaar Magazine
‘Tis the Season to Be Man Repelling, or Is It? via Harper’s Bazaar Blog

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Thoughts?
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07891613318929178094 I Don’t Wear Jeans

    LOVE your blog! ALWAYS get a laugh. I like your style, too. http://idontwearjeans.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10974573439218884164 Big Mark 243

    Thin wisp of a smile transform all of these out fits (well, maybe not the last one… yeesh!) into something I could see a date or gf wearing with me during the holiday seasons!

    You are a fantastic writer!! If you were a regular columnist, I would prolly subscribe to Harper's just to read you column (well, maybe not subscribe… but I would reg'larly check it out at the grocery store or doctor's office!)

  • http://thismuchblog.wordpress.com/ This Much

    That last outfit is darling!

  • http://fashionslap.net/ fashionslap.net

    LOL "I'm straight call me" Awesome. You are seriously fantastic and I can't wait for the Holidays. I really really hope you dawn a bad holiday sweater for the occasion. Nothing says Man Repeller like a sweater with a light up nose rudolph on it…don't laugh they exist…shocker right?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13684737437066286517 Notting Hill Girl

    I WANT your Marni shoes…love your blog, it's so funny because it's so true! NHG x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14956201443257275276 dull boy

    the elf/peter pan get up is HOT!!…
    (if you wore that around my neighbourhood you'd be pulling the fella's by the truckload!!)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04187676675669056739 Nathalia

    congrats on the articles! I read and love them!

    Nat
    Viaggio della Farfalla
    The Key Item

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02351869206880031770 Yevgeniya Yelkina

    what a wonderful color combo. and i adore your black outfit. sso stunning!

    http://hypnoticfascination.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18431557789245271401 ray

    seriously. the writing is on point. you make me laugh smile and then cry because i too have the best birth controlled closet around. WOOPS! ;]

    also how current are the marni shoes? they're perfect

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04817350665810757667 Melissa

    I think your blog might be the best of all! I love that you don't take yourself too seriously and make all the little model pouts on random streetcorners etc. Thanks for keeping it real up in here, I def will meet you under the mistletoe is a totally straight, lady-boner way ha

    http://www.glamoretta.blogspot.com

  • http://helene-elle.tumblr.com/ Helene

    You're foxy. You've given me the hardest of lady boners. (No surprise there.) Can I marry you? Do I have to convert to Judaism?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16031717015076553160 The_Dark_Lady_2

    I was getting disappointed that you seemed to have abandoned man repellers in favor of man getters. Seeing how repellent you can make D&G; and Missoni in the all black ensemble – I must apologise. No need for chemical birth control at all.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10637001710961200469 Ellie

    Oh, dangerous – 2 out of three potential getters!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03401686887977484323 Man Repeller

    @ray the shoes are about three seasons old! am sure you can find them on ebay or perhaps a discount site though. they are better than you think.

    x mr

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12637700187176783687 KIPI

    Congratulations on all of your success! Sue passed these out last night for us to read….great job.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18431557789245271401 ray

    oh shit i totally found them! yes! xx

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02206266458166643723 Jack Foley

    nice going on the harper's article. You really have a true gift in writing, and you seem very fun. Hope you get that call cause you deserve it.

  • http://mystyleadvice.com/ mystyleadvice.com

    that black skirt is badass!! love the all black outfit.