So Long Sabbatical

Oh readers, I’M BACK! Midterms are over and that means one thing and one thing only: goodbye academia hello edible nipple tassels! 

I don’t often post on weekends but in honor of the end of my blogcoma, there are two important things that I must share with you right now at 6:57PM on this Friday evening.

Number one, my home-girl, slice, skillet, Le Fashion sent over these images from the October issue of Dazed & Confused.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? How could you know what I’m thinking, I haven’t told you yet.

It’s this: girlfriend, provided the tight alien-inspired top knot you have on your head I speculate little circulation is going to your brain so I think it’s important I bring something to your attention. You are giving birth to a little ball of fur and I don’t mean a Persian baby. There are actual balls of feather emerging from your womb right now.

Though you may not find child support funding from your y-chromosome counterpart (I speculate this particular y-chromosome counterpart is Big Bird,) I just want you to know I’d be happy to start a not-for-profit founded on the principles of this here blog. You may also want to think about waxing your arms, but hey who I am to judge, (cue my middle-eastern ancestry.)

And in other news: Forward by Revolve added new digs to their sale section yesterday and looky looky at this Gareth Pugh number. It gives new meaning to popular Man Repeller installment, Things That Look Like Vaginas. Mainly because this doesn’t just look like a vagina…

It is one! And it could be yours. For just $496, abuse your lady bits and have a seam cut through your lips down under. If that ain’t a deal I don’t know what is.
Buys yours here.
It feels good to be back. Happy weekend Yankee doodles.