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Monday, October 11, 2010

DIY Your Own TurBAND

As a self-proclaimed expert in the field of man repelling, I thought it useful to start including photo-heavy tutorials that will document the exciting prospect of DIYing your very own sartorial cock blocks. This week, we'll start with the TURBAND. Sure, you can buy one (cue: Pixie Market, The Nasty Gal) but think of it like this: when you're buying say... a salad for lunch, don't you prefer owning the power to include your favorite ingredients and to make sure it is exactly what you want? No surprise craisins.

Yeah, so turband. DIY.

Before we start I'll just say, this DIY took place in the comfort of my own bedroom. In real life, people don't DIY while overlooking the High Line and wearing sequined mini dresses and cat eye sunnies. I'm trying to bring an element of realness to your computer screen. NOW...
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Step 1: Locate a square scarf. I stole mine from my mom. She is fancy so it is Hermes. 
Step 2: Take opposite corners from said scarf and fold them together. This should leave you with a triangle shaped piece o'fabric. If you want, you can tie it around your head and pretend you're a female extra in Fiddler on The Roof. "Match maker, match maker make me a match. Find me a find, catch me a catch." Anyone? Anyone? K, bye.
Step 3: Keep folding.

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Step 4: Tie the folded scarf around your head and pretend you're a ninja. This is also an optional step though highly recommended.

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Step 5: Tie the folded scarf around your head so that you have bunny ears. Knot it once.
Step 6: Knot it again and start laughing because you're only two steps away from anti-mating! 
Step 7: Take the bunny ears you've created and bring them toward the back of your head. Knot again.

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Step 8: Put on patent leather booties, pose like a douche bag and voila, male genital deterring continues.

Chambray shirt by Madewell
Denim-cotton blend pants (I refuse to call them jeggings) by Current/Elliot 
Booties by Privee

42 comments:

  1. AWESOME TURBAND TUTORIAL. i'm set for life.

    question: what brand/style of jeans are you wearing?

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  2. Perfect. Every time I tried to turBAND (yes, it can be used as a verb) I wound up looking like Aunt Jemima. I only dress like Aunt Jemima on Tuesdays, see.

    Thanks, Man Repeller!

    Tamia
    TheStyleSample

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  3. After reading Grazia, I'm now following the ways of The Man Repeller x

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  4. I love you, Man Repeller! Alas, I am cockless and therefore of no use to you. *sigh*

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  5. Much as I love the Turband, and generally looking like Aunt Jemima, what I REALLY want to know is: who makes your shirt? This series of comments, may in fact, require some sort of addendum stating the maker of each article pictured.

    PS: Those jeans are hot, and I don't use that word lightly. Seriously, you might have to change the title of the blog walkin' around in hotness like that. Though, I suppose the Turband does counteract their hotness to some extent....

    ReplyDelete

  6. Turban, double denim & booties are totally repellent! :) I thought I was doing pretty good on my own & now I see what I lacked - a turban! Need to update immediately! :)

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  7. I think this is actually very chic! I too, am slowly becoming a man repeller!!!

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  8. OMG, VAGINA SHOES! Can't think of a straight man who could resist a vagina. You may be in for a ride after all.

    ReplyDelete

  9. Thoughts on the turBAND for girls with about an inch of hair?




    Cassandra Murray/Punks
    of Punks & Strunks
    creators of WWDIHAB.com

    ReplyDelete

  10. Great tutorial for people like me who suck at tying scarves and bows etc.

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  11. Hmmm me thinks my hair is too short for this...still it's wicked!!!

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  12. hand knit turbans!!

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/54748622/turban-knit-head-band?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=App_Seller&utm_content=items&utm_campaign=fb_seller_item

    ReplyDelete

  13. hello, it's the first time i'm visiting you and I can say that you're not repelling at all! I'll follow you from now on! have a nice day!

    ReplyDelete

  14. You look fine to me; what are you doing later?

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  15. haha, funny funny, love your writing, and honestly, love your style!!! take care

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  16. NO SURPRISE CRAISINS! i think this might be my new life motto. i hate craisins.

    http://clairedallas.tumblr.com/

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  17. i love this! super cute. a look i may just have to try out soon...

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  18. seriously have no idea what the hell these men's problem is anyway?

    all your looks are bad ass! all my looks are bad ass! fur overload and wide leg linen pants?? that ooozes foreplay duh!

    so glad i stumbled upon you - thankyouthankyou

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  19. the other day at the aeroport, i was approached by a confused man who inquired -rather concernedly- if i had sustained a head injury.

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  21. That was hilarious...put on petent leather shoes like a douche bag...you are incredibly poetic.

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  22. hahahahaa i just found your blog and i like it a lot you're hilarious!

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  23. So hilarious and such a great post- you look great!
    xoNina
    http://www.amazedandconfused.com/

    ReplyDelete

  24. love it! just wrapped my way into turband-mania now.

    electric fringe

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  25. Omg I just found your blog! your blog is so funny and helpful! This tutorial was great and DEF will be doing this (along with acting like a ninja!).

    I'm now following through google!

    http://fashionistanygirl.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete

  26. Hilarious entry. Definitely giving this a shot!

    www.fashion-feline.blogspot.com

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  27. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I have a photo shoot on Thursday and they are requesting a turban, I am been searching for a 1/2 hour, than I saw your post. I will be picking up an extra scarf or two at forever 21, DIY. And yes, I also hate posting pictures of myself on blogs. xoxox

    http://blog.imagebylauren.com

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  28. like ur bloggin style gurl
    if this was tumblr id be click <3
    but since it's not i'm just confused right now

    ReplyDelete

  29. I have a friend that turBANDS in all the wrong ways. I will subtly email this to her.
    www.alienbabyblog.com

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  30. This is super cute and you're hilarious. I love head pieces <3

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  31. I am in love with you...
    serious vagina attractor.

    ReplyDelete

  32. i am really in love with your blog! great diy :)

    join my StiLa giveaway!!!
    http://fashioneggplant.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

  33. See, I have achieved something special- this headscarf tutorial is awesome but none of my scarves fit on my head...

    So not only do I dress as a man repeller (I have a boyfriend, but as the Ida Maria song goes, He Likes Me So Much Better When I'm Naked), I also have a colossal head.

    ReplyDelete

  34. Awesome turban! plus, amazing outfit :).

    http://claraiguess.blogspot.com <3

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  35. Today, in honor of this post (it has nothing to do with my laziness and not wanting to wash my hair), I TURBAND!

    ...Slight side note: anyone with bob-length or shorter hair will probably have the hair equivalent of a muffin top. Your technique was flawless, but my intense volume issues made this take almost half an hour. Still! I am done now, and off to repel. Thank goodness I don't usually see my man-friend on Tuesdays.

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  36. Dear Man Repeller,
    I found myself at a party last night wearing a self-tied turban and a navy Gryphon cropped jacket, gilded with gold piping. A man observed that I looked like a pirate. Granted, he was a little drunk. I told him I was flattered, but going for more of a "Tupac Shakur meets Aunt Jemima, with a guest appearance by Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" look. As I was leaving, he slurred, "Goodbye, Jemima Shakur!"

    ReplyDelete

  37. Pwhahaha at Pose like a Douche Bag! LMBOOO

    ReplyDelete

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