You’re not having sex this week because…
You handed over your LTF (License to Fuck) the moment you bought the genitalia-inspired footwear pictured above, courtesy of Giuseppe Zanotti for Thakoon
*editor note: I’ve seen these shoes in the flesh (ha) and they do indeed scream Vagina.
Vagina shoes are cool if you’re into wearing
labia labial [*ed] folds on your feet. Everything down to the flesh colored suede is an accurate portrayal of your [abandoned] lady bits. Even the laces up the middle are strategically placed. It’s as if they’re subtly letting the wearer know that if they sport these shoes, their vagina will remain “sewn up” — i.e sex? Not here, pal.
Is Thakoon pulling a Georgia O’Keefe here? (Because as everyone knows, O’Keefe was notorious for her vageen-inspired art.)
Another short note: I ordered these shoes last week. Duh.
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