You may be getting tired of seeing heavily-influenced-by-runway images on my blog or telling yourself that you too could check style.com, gather a slew of images best described as man repelling and throw them onto the interwebs. But since this is my blog I can paint it any color I want and in honor of fashion week and the speedy gonzalez techwizards at style.com I’m painting it tie dyed denim leopard print.
(Paragraph Read: This is the last heavily-influenced-by-style.com-images post I’ll do, promise! You want to see more of my face, I get it, I don’t blame you. There is funny shit in store…cue Guess The Blogger Pose so keep reading unless you want to miss out on laughing so hard your belly hurts and in doing so, yielding obtainment of a six-pack.)
I just want to say this. I love Fashion Week really hard and it is primarily because it substantiates my theory so accurately. See below:
The Double Denim Doppelgangbang–hold the bang–at Derek Lam.
Fashion imitates finance- uneven hems flair up and down, just like the stock market!
Mullets, Topknots, and
trashbag inspired figure flattering silhouettes at ADAM.
I love a high-waisted tailored short paired with rosette blouses and structured blazers. I’ll call this one: a return to my rootz. (I did grow up uptown, after all.)
Jill Stuart Lady Boning
While my favorite three JS shorts may not actively portray me as a Man Repeller…
Between the other three looks I pulled, including a yellow velvet t shirt (that may or may not be remnants of the fabric that once upholstered the Brady Bunch home), Victorian collar and sheer ’50s silhouette-inspired dress, my sex stats are back at zero.
*editor note: a homeless man wouldn’t even sleep with you if you wore that velvet tee
The 90s (and Prison Break) are back in a major way.
Angela Chase ca. My So Called Life at Charlotte Ronson
Exposed nipples were back on runways again this season but the new exposed pantie trend shat (the pun here is intended) on l’intentional nipslip. Lucky for me, designers decided the contents beneath sheer outerwear should be reminiscent of granny-inspired underwear.
Sartorial celibacy, friends. Fashion Week is code for sartorial celibacy.
On an unrelated but equally relevant note: let’s hear it for Cher, her sheer unitard (cue: leotarded), the big ass hair and that teeny weeny pantie underneath it all.
Eureka! She’s vajazzled from head to toe!