Thursday, August 26, 2010

Ode to Courtney Love

If anyone understands the art of dressing to repel men, it’s me, duh Courtney Love. I like to say that Man Repellers are girls after my own heart, but in this case, I think I’m one after hers. A few weeks ago WWD released a feature focusing primarily on her new blog What Courtney Wore Today. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but my heterolifemate administered the interview, she rocks, I only socialize with people who rock. As one would expect, C.Love digressed while answering questions and revealed some eternal truths. One of which: “Someone from Lagerfeld’s camp told me that some of the front-row ladies wearing all the kooky stuff don’t get laid. She said that if you want to get laid once in a while, then you better stop wearing the kook. I realized she was right.”
In this case, kook is the equivalent of Man Repeller wear and while she may be right, I reiterate my point once again: sex shmex…furry jumpsuits! Full skirts! Ankle socks! Brogues!
A couple days ago, she was perusing past RTW shows on Style.com while simultaneously tweeting at me. The outcome was choc full o’LOLz, so here I document the chronicles of the brainstorms Courtney Love’s head exerts onto her. She may or may not have missed her calling as my co-writer. I don’t mind running a one man show though. I am quite a man.
Exhibit A, from Chanel F/W 2010 Ready to Wear: RT @CourtneyLoveUK: @ Chanel oh no sacred cow, but NOT SEXY I don’t know how to submit to your site. LOOK AT FEET! OMG! 
Courtney’s tweets are not often legible but since I’m a master of Morse code, I’M HERE TO RELAY HER STROKES OF GENIUS. In this case, she didn’t know how to submit photos to my site but more importantly placed emphasis on chinchillas growing on the model’s feet. I like to ski so I’d wear them and pretend that I’m drinking hot drinks in Aspen. I also like grizzly bears, so.

Exhibit B, RT @CourtneyLoveUK oh no! sjp is running Halston and this is the result? sexxxxxxxxy 
There is something to be said about Carrie Bradshaw SJP’s affinity for Man Repelling, but that aside, how can someone hate on this! She’s emulating a mint Milano cookie.

And that is fancy. Fancy as fuck. 
Exhibit C, RT @CourtneyLoveUK i love miucca @ but oh no oh nooo, what if i did a booty call in this? NOTHING is what. 
 
She is onto something, readers. While Prada’s FW 2010 graphic print full dress will yield many an If-I-could-I-would-wear-this-everyday-for-the-rest-of-my-life lady boner…it’s true. What would happen if you wore this to a booty call? NOTHING. Nothing would happen. You’d get bitch slapped right back to 1953.

Exhibit D, RT @CourtneyLoveUK @ @ please tell me i win because i want to look like a banana. for REALS. some japanese designer by “some”  
I feel you…since there will be no proverbial banana in me, there may as well be one on me. Eh, eh? 
And the last of my exhibits, RT @CourtneyLoveUK @ @ i know sacred cows were made to be tipped. balenciega, cristobal would die. sexy waist. not. NOT 
This is a very effective way to hide a baby bump while simultaneously jumping forward into the Jetson era. All about it. 
Check out Courtney’s blog here, follow her on twitter here, and deposit love notes here.
Contact: HaremPants@ManRepeller.com, Tweetertwatter: @ManRepeller

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