Monday, August 30, 2010

The Drop Crotch Utility Pants

image via Maya Ojalvo

Generally speaking, I like to stand against red brick walls in Nolita and wait for say, Mr. Newton or Scott Schuman to swing by, fall in love with the juxtaposition of my pants against the wall and START SNAPPIN! My friend someone else took this photo.

Sooo, remember that thing I taught you? Should you have the attention span of a chipmunk, I will quickly refresh your memory:

While I’m no math wiz I can attest that getting street style photographed = your outfit is man repelling. You may not be able to see, but the crotch on my utility pants is pretty stinkin’ low. Every time I walked on this day, I felt my thighs uncomfortably rubbing against one another. They were crying, “please, we just want some proper pants.” I thought about lending more respect to my body but at this point I don’t even know where my real crotch is anymore.

The above photo may not look so bad from the front, (though evidently, my face was nothing special, see below)

…but the rear view is a real broom cracker. Know what I’m sayin, know what I’m sayin?

I’ll quickly conclude saying this: if you’re thinking “what a silly hermaphrodite, she looks so cool, how is that a Man Repeller? Ask yourself this: Am I a woman? A fashion forward man? Maybe a gay one?” If you are any of the above three, thank your artistic eye and move along.

Contact: HaremPants@ManRepeller.com, Tweetertwatter: @ManRepeller

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