Queen of the Jungle

July 13, 2010

Even though the mouth on her face is shut, the one on her breasts is not. Is the inside of King Kong Christopher Kane’s (read: Christo’insane) mouth an optical illusion, or have my eyes beat the system? If the answer is the latter, and the shirt does in fact have an opening, I bid one question to this cave girl on the run, and one question only: why don’t you keep your phone in there instead of in your hand?

Here’s an extensive list documenting the potential reasons why she is Man Repelling: 
a. As aforementioned, even though the mouth on her face is closed, the one on her boobies is not.
b. If clothing is supposed to reflect a person’s inner self, what does a screaming ape stamped across the chest say about this woman?
c. Of all the ready-to-wear, on all the runways, in all of the world she could have chosen, she went with screaming ape. What does that mean, you ask? Two words: attention (1) whore (2).
d. Nipples are not supposed to eat people alive, they’re supposed to nourish babies.
e. The shirt deserves an NC-17 rating. Child repelling without caution is frowned upon on this side of the world, sort of like masturbating on an airplane.

f. I had a burrito for lunch today. I love Mexican food.

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  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13829535931355646962 Fashion By He

    is that amy from the movie congo?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12721489174660426272 Fashion Intel

    THESE people never open their mouths in photos. I'd like to co-sign on your attention whore declaration.

    When you mentioned masturbating on a plane, I immediately though of Mallrats. Lastly, Mexican food is the bomb, especially when it is homemade by me if I can say so myself.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09898743425395763346 Rosie

    I'm actually crying with laughter!!!

  • http://www.jewlr.com/magazine alexandra

    Girls who eat things like burritos are totally man attracting – they hate chicks who diet. Looks like you're off your game today, Leandra.

    For more on attracting guys – since it looks like you are switching teams – here are my picks for man-friendly shopping options. Enjoy! http://bit.ly/dbQQnK

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04226907707428249750 Courtney

    wtf? even if were trying to just "hang w the gurls" i wouldnt make my boobies look like Vagina Dentata!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10637001710961200469 Ellie

    You know, I had to look at that four times. And then get my husband to confirm that the outline of her body did NOT match the shape of the tee WEIRD.