Queen of the Jungle
Even though the mouth on her face is shut, the one on her breasts is not. Is the inside of
King Kong Christopher Kane’s (read: Christo’insane) mouth an optical illusion, or have my eyes beat the system? If the answer is the latter, and the shirt does in fact have an opening, I bid one question to this cave girl on the run, and one question only: why don’t you keep your phone in there instead of in your hand?
Here’s an extensive list documenting the potential reasons why she is Man Repelling:
a. As aforementioned, even though the mouth on her face is closed, the one on her boobies is not.
b. If clothing is supposed to reflect a person’s inner self, what does a screaming ape stamped across the chest say about this woman?
c. Of all the ready-to-wear, on all the runways, in all of the world she could have chosen, she went with screaming ape. What does that mean, you ask? Two words: attention (1) whore (2).
d. Nipples are not supposed to eat people alive, they’re supposed to nourish babies.
e. The shirt deserves an NC-17 rating. Child repelling without caution is frowned upon on this side of the world, sort of like masturbating on an airplane.
f. I had a burrito for lunch today. I love Mexican food.
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