Queen of the Jungle

by Leandra Medine
July 13, 2010
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Even though the mouth on her face is shut, the one on her breasts is not. Is the inside of King Kong Christopher Kane’s (read: Christo’insane) mouth an optical illusion, or have my eyes beat the system? If the answer is the latter, and the shirt does in fact have an opening, I bid one question to this cave girl on the run, and one question only: why don’t you keep your phone in there instead of in your hand?

Here’s an extensive list documenting the potential reasons why she is Man Repelling: 
a. As aforementioned, even though the mouth on her face is closed, the one on her boobies is not.
b. If clothing is supposed to reflect a person’s inner self, what does a screaming ape stamped across the chest say about this woman?
c. Of all the ready-to-wear, on all the runways, in all of the world she could have chosen, she went with screaming ape. What does that mean, you ask? Two words: attention (1) whore (2).
d. Nipples are not supposed to eat people alive, they’re supposed to nourish babies.
e. The shirt deserves an NC-17 rating. Child repelling without caution is frowned upon on this side of the world, sort of like masturbating on an airplane.

f. I had a burrito for lunch today. I love Mexican food.

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REPLIES
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13829535931355646962 Fashion By He

    is that amy from the movie congo?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12721489174660426272 Fashion Intel

    THESE people never open their mouths in photos. I'd like to co-sign on your attention whore declaration.

    When you mentioned masturbating on a plane, I immediately though of Mallrats. Lastly, Mexican food is the bomb, especially when it is homemade by me if I can say so myself.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09898743425395763346 Rosie

    Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahhahaha!!!!
    I'm actually crying with laughter!!!

  • http://www.jewlr.com/magazine alexandra

    Girls who eat things like burritos are totally man attracting – they hate chicks who diet. Looks like you're off your game today, Leandra.

    For more on attracting guys – since it looks like you are switching teams – here are my picks for man-friendly shopping options. Enjoy! http://bit.ly/dbQQnK

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04226907707428249750 Courtney

    wtf? even if were trying to just "hang w the gurls" i wouldnt make my boobies look like Vagina Dentata!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10637001710961200469 Ellie

    You know, I had to look at that four times. And then get my husband to confirm that the outline of her body did NOT match the shape of the tee WEIRD.

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