Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Queen of the Jungle

Even though the mouth on her face is shut, the one on her breasts is not. Is the inside of King Kong Christopher Kane’s (read: Christo’insane) mouth an optical illusion, or have my eyes beat the system? If the answer is the latter, and the shirt does in fact have an opening, I bid one question to this cave girl on the run, and one question only: why don’t you keep your phone in there instead of in your hand?

Here’s an extensive list documenting the potential reasons why she is Man Repelling: 
a. As aforementioned, even though the mouth on her face is closed, the one on her boobies is not.
b. If clothing is supposed to reflect a person’s inner self, what does a screaming ape stamped across the chest say about this woman?
c. Of all the ready-to-wear, on all the runways, in all of the world she could have chosen, she went with screaming ape. What does that mean, you ask? Two words: attention (1) whore (2).
d. Nipples are not supposed to eat people alive, they’re supposed to nourish babies.
e. The shirt deserves an NC-17 rating. Child repelling without caution is frowned upon on this side of the world, sort of like masturbating on an airplane.

f. I had a burrito for lunch today. I love Mexican food.

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