How Not to Repel at Opening Ceremony
In case you’re not quick on the uptake, the text body of this blog post is blank. I’ve tricked you again because it’s impossible not to repel at Opening Ceremony. For a few thousand dollars, contents of the store will help you maintain your virginity. And if you’ve already given up your oath of celibacy…no fear, Opening Ceremony is where the sexually active vagina goes to die.
If you had good inferring skills you would be able to draw a conclusion that reads something like this: I would trade my first born baby for Opening Ceremony! Who needs codependency when you can have roomy pants! And leather helmets! And onesies! Favorite sale clothes below:
Look! It’s Ariel the Mermaid’s counterpart…and she has legs! Kind of.
House of Holland’s pants read like a really effective way to cover yourself in chastity belts.
These are Vena Cava’s picnic pants. Called picnic pants because you can actually have a picnic in or on the crotch.
I’m just going to address the elephant in this virtual room, there’s a leather hat attached to her Alexander Wang cape! I speculate it’s padded, should she fall to the ground, or get beaten on the head, she will be A-OK…always a plus in my book.
Contact: ManRepeller@gmail.com, Tweetertwatter: @ManRepeller