I know what you’re thinking. I’m thinking the same thing. That little silk bow at the waist of this contraceptive is such a great feminine touch!
Just kidding ladies, that’s obviously not what we’re thinking. More like: O.M.F.G, it’s not a thong? HOW WILL WE CONCEAL OUR UNDERWEAR LINES?
Onward and upward, jokes aside:
Hipsters, rejoice! When it strips down to it, hairy panties will put harem pants to shame.
Vatto-victims, you can rejoice too. This is an effective way to warn your man friend about the old man wearing a sweatband painted across your uterus.
Also an effective way to wear a caution: do not enter sign without actually wearing a caution: do not enter sign.
Horny celibates, you should rejoice too. This is an effective way to stay faithful to the priesthood without spending buttloads of cash-money at Opening Ceremony.
And finally…men, dispatch. Unless you’ve brought your goggles and a snorkel for a little lesson in muff diving, fornication is not on the menu this eve.
Mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, uncle Roy, aunt Sue, if you’re reading this, I am so sorry.
I don’t have an uncle Roy or an aunt Sue.
Mail me, ManRepeller@gmail.com or follow the best Twitter account known to mankind @ManRepeller