Furry Bootays

When I was sixteen I had an adorable little baby puppy.

For one week.

After the seven day mark, my mother returned him when I wasn’t looking. He shat on a rug. She bought me a T-Mobile Sidekick to replace the little baby puppy. I told her an electronic device couldn’t replace the warmth of a beating heart and she said “but honey, it’s a smart phone.” Just kidding, she didn’t say that, she’s not even American. Anyway, I cried for a really long time (20 minutes) (the Sidekick was really cool) and promised myself that when I was of age, I would buy myself a puppy.

So…behold!

Ok, maybe not a puppy per say, but they are furry. And it would be rude to say they don’t have beating hearts, even though they don’t.

On the bright side, I probably won’t have to take them to the vet for shots, or to a groomer, they definitely won’t shit on my mother’s rugs and most importantly…

My furry clunkers are going to attract so-cute-I-might-kick-myself-in-the-face black beanie babies like this one all the time! If only because the so-cute-I-might-kick-myself-in-the-face black beanie babies think my boots are little siblings! Or potential sex partners!

The puppy boots and the actual puppy have more in common than you may think. Here’s a short list.
1. Black
2. Furry
3. Capable of walking
4. Utterly thrilled about the progress BP’s oil spill has made in the last week.
5. Difficult time breathing
6. A penchant for modeling on white backdrops
7. No opposable thumbs to tweet with
8. Loveable — they have this one in common with me, too!
9. Mute
10. Animal rights activists (Puppy boot is made from faux fur, duh)

And finally, here are the sex stats I’ve written up: Man Repeller: 0, Shoes on Man Repeller’s feet: 1. Fail.

Get in touch with us! ManRepeller@gmail.com and tweet us for a good time @ManRepeller

Puppy boots by Alexander Wang, available at OAKnyc

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Thoughts?
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04476426856161849763 rosemary

    i love this blog.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12721489174660426272 Fashion Intel

    I've always wanted to look like a black yeti – do those even exist?

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11976357698526290544 Daphne

    jajaja you are the best!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07982880931241331217 Mrs. Zint

    where is your mom from?

  • Anonymous

    hahaha. agree with all but number 9. have you ever been around a puglet? They are noisy little shits- grunts and burps and snorts and farts. i should know, i own one. not only do i have an extensive turban collection, i have a man-repelling dog too.

  • Anonymous

    Surprised your mom didn't give you up the first time you made a mess then. Who gives away their daughter's dog because they made a mess on the rug?? Horrible.