Our New Favorite Street Style Site Gives Brand New Meaning to Man Repelling

If ever you were unconvinced that getting street styled is code for man repelling, meet HEL Looks. A close friend of Man Repeller turned us onto the street style site. HEL Looks documents street style in Helsinki. Now, we knew them Helsinkos were eclectic, but didn’t realize they were epic asshats, too. We would continue rambling about how utterly Man Repelling and ridiculous some of these style choices are, but instead, we’ll let the below photos speak for us. Try to refrain from poking your eyes out. It’s not worth it, you’re better than that.

Perhaps the best part of this website rests in the captions where photographees deliver a comment about their style. This girl, Helen, said “Black has been my color since I was 15. My dad says I always look like a widow.” Ok, Helen, we get that black is “your color”, but your dad probably thinks you look widowed because you are lurking around sporting that facial expression. Turn that frown upside down! Unless you are (as we speculate) possessed by the devil.

Varpu over here, (wearing wedged sneakers, boys and girls) says “Commes des Garcons inspires me from year to year.” Yeah, CDG inspires us hard too, but that’s why we be home alone every night.

This little Soviet-Stalin lover, Ringa, says “I try to restrain my style and think which garments match each other and suit my body type.” So far Ringa, your efforts are failing(a). You look like communist Russia. Sweet tassels on your shoes, though.

This is crew-cut Kristina. She says she likes the way “nomads, Muslim men, and Indian men dress up.” To the photographer: I don’t know how much more clear she could have been about telling you she doesn’t care how she looks. To Kristina: You don’t like the peen, do you.

Before I continue, when my boss saw this image enlarged on my screen she shouted at me “why is that woman wearing throw up?” It’s not throw up, silly! It’s a jumpsuit Karolina bought for 20 Swedish crowns! She says the color black inspires her…as she stands pointed toe in serious clunkers, laughing in her dark abysmal inside.

Maija says she is “styled by her boyfriend. I am wearing his sunglasses and shirt.” Look Maija, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your boyfriend is homosexual.

Sonja is inspired by “summer, country music, and summer cottages.” A word from the wise: one should never take a sartorial cue from music. One should never take any cue from Country music. Unless you are on the fast track to suicide.

Holy jumpsuit! Sisko found her denim track suit in her parents house. She says “her sister made it in the 90s.” It should have stayed there. This is perhaps the most unattractive, boner killing, man repelling, ween deflating, cucumber slicing, nausea inducing jumpsuit we’ve ever been exposed to. It’s not only harem, it zips up top and rocks a hood. A hood. I’ll leave your fuck up of a pixie cut alone for now.

And for the kicker…

Meet Malin. Nevermind her sequined booty shorts and chunky boots from the salvation army. She missing a patch of hair on the left side of her head. She says “I’m excited to wear beige.” We say, get excited to wear hats because that empty patch on your head is going to leave the patch on the southern region of your anatomy empty too.

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