Getting Street Style Photographed= Your Outfit is Man Repelling

As I was flipping through the virtual pages of Mr. Newton’s street style blog I noticed a trending pattern in the ridiculousness (Read: Animal and tribal prints, construction boots) of the photographs displayed. Then I thought about the other street style blogs I frequent and the girls who appear on them which inevitably brought me to the conclusion that getting photographed by a street style photographer is code that your outfit is man repelling.

Below, what I assume these ladies were thinking when they got dressed the morning of their respective photo ops.

Girl 1: I’m going to try my luck with construction boots, knit knee highs, fish nets, an acid washed mini, a faux flannel, and fur. Now, let me perfect my asshat smile in the mirror in case someone photos me.

Girl 2: I found this jacket on the set of Sesame Street and look! I was right, it looks fantastic under the full length jumpsuit I found at that flea market in Nigeria. [Hours later] Well, I got kicked out of the Dior show but hey! at least this photographer saw promise in me.

Girl 3: I am an asshole, how can my sartorial choices depict this? :::Lightbulb::: two layers of leopard print!

*note: I believe you “forgot” to inform readers about the time you got street style photographed a few weeks ago when we spent the afternoon purchasing man repelling outfits in Soho. Your outfit consisted of a shapeless chain-printed dress, black high-top studded converse, a leather trench and your hair in faux-Princess Leia bun pinned to the side of your head. I rest my case.

*rebuttal: I also left out the incident that included my silk drop crotch harem pants, a gray cropped sweater and my beloved nude suede heels…the ones that resemble Helios, horse of Hercules far more than any pair of shoes (or anything unmammal related, really) should. My point being: *bell shaped floral blazer made from grandma’s curtains ca. 1956.*

*rebuttal to the rebuttal: My bell shaped floral blazer made from grandma’s curtains ca. 1956 is sensational.

*rebuttal to the rebuttal’s rebuttal: true.